Bad Dayz
by PhUnGuY
Summary: Bad days in the lives of the Nintendo crew. I didn't know whether to rate it PG-13 or R cuz of the language, so I picked R to be safe...very funny! please r/r! (PLEASE try not to flame...) *JUST ADDED MARIO AND DAISY CHAPTERS!*
1. Peach's Bad Day

Dizclaimer…..I don't own any of the Nintendo characters listed here, or Britney Spears. I DO, however, own the game idea for Mario Grocery 64!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
A Bad Day In The Life Of Peach  
  
  
  
It was a beautiful day, and Peach awoke and walked out to the balcony. "What a beautiful day!" Peach exclaimed. All of a sudden, it started thundering and raining. A moo-cow landed on Peach. "Ow……". Peach walked back inside, and ended up in a huge mansion made of potatoes! She went through another door, and was attacked by rabid cheese. When she exited, another moo-cow landed on her. The mansion was no longer made of potatoes. She kept on walking down an endless hall. It was endless. So she passed out because it was so……endless?  
  
When she awoke, she was in a huge room. She noticed a girl sitting in front of a mirror, twirling her hair. Peach called the girl. "Excuse me, miss?" The girl didn't respond. Peach walked up to her and asked again. "Excuse me….." The girl still didn't say anything. Peach waved her hand in the mystery girl's face. "Excuse me miss. Hello?" The girl didn't move. "Excuse meeeeee…" Peach said, irritated. The girl still wouldn't budge. "HEY BITCH!" Peach screamed. The girl turned around.  
  
"What did you just call me?!" It turned out to be Britney Spears.  
  
"Figures…" Peach thought to herself….."You heard me!!!!" Britney punched Peach in the face. Peach retaliated by shoving a turnip down her throat. Peach laughed maniacally, and another moo-cow fell on her. Peach got up, and pushed Britney, who was choking on the turnip, down a flight of stairs that appeared out of nowhere. She walked down the stairs, and ended up in a grocery store. She grabbed a cart and raced around, crashing into several other carts and pushing people out of the way. Peach seems to think she's in Mario Grocery 64. While running senselessly, she thought to herself "I need milk, eggs, sugar….." and grabbed the needed items along the way. "….Watermelon.." She saw the biggest watermelon she'd ever seen before. A mushroom dude saw it, and saw her seeing it, and she saw him seeing her see it, and DAMN this is confusing! Anyways, it was a race to the watermelon. Their carts collided, and they started arguing about it.  
  
"No way dude, I saw it first!"  
  
"Hey! I'M the princess! I get it!"  
  
"Nuh uh dude! Its mine!"  
  
"Don't make me step on your shorty ass!"  
  
"What bitch?!" Then they started fighting. The mushroom dude jumped up (he jumps high for a shorty…) and started punching…..er……um…..whatever he does with those stubs for arms…and kicking Peach (wonder where he learned to float). Peach pushed him and stepped on him, as promised. Then she started jumping up and down (she's pretty heavy set for a girl with her figure…) and landing on his back. The mushroom guy rolled out of the way (man this is cool! Too bad it don't happen in real grocery stores) and started pummeling her with broccoli. Peach countered with a cherry (bomb) barrage. The mushroom dude was defeated, and Peach triumphantly grabbed the watermelon that was no longer there. She looked confused for a second, staring at the spot where the watermelon once stood, hoping it would reappear. She looked up, and found that Daisy had taken it and was running like mad. Peach got really angry now, and another moo-cow came outta nowhere and flattened her. "WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FREAKIN COWS?!!!!!!!!!!" Peach screamed. (Sorry Peach, but the story started to lack spontaneity.) Peach pushed the cow off, and grabbed her cart and started chasing Daisy. The floor dropped from underneath her (only her) and she fell to another supposed doom. A hole appeared in the ceiling and Peach landed in Daisy's cart. Daisy couldn't see over Peach and crashed into a wall. Peach got out of the cart, lifted the watermelon, and smashed it over Daisy's head, knocking her out. Peach walked away, and the floor dropped underneath her (only her) again, and she fell to yet ANOTHER supposed doom. She landed on her head, but that didn't seem to phase her much because she got up like it didn't happen (One of three reasons: 1. The crown, 2. All that hair, 3. The woman has a thick skull!) She walked down the empty hall and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and walked, and…….you get the picture. A moo-cow fell on her, bounced a few times, and walked away. Peach is obviously getting very irritated by all the moo-cows that have been landing on here out of nowhere. You can tell because she's jumping up and down screaming every insult and cuss word known to man. She took about 50 pills and pulled out a bottle of Diet Coke, and calmed herself down. She continued her long walk. A wall appeared out of nowhere, and she walked straight into it. And another moo-cow fell on her. She took 50 more pills to prevent herself from having another outburst, and the wall disappeared and revealed a door. No sooner did she turn the knob than the floor dropped again (the whole floor this time) and she fell right along with the door. (She MUST be a blonde, the door wasn't connected to a wall, it was just standing up in the middle of the hall.) The door disappeared, and she was just falling with the doorknob in her hand. After a few hours, she landed in a wrestling ring. This huge guy came rushing towards her, but she threw the knob at him and he fell over. She ran out the arena and tripped. Another moo-cow fell on her. And another. And another. And another (here we go again). A few more fell on her, and she walked through another door and ended up back in her bedroom. It was night again, and she started cussing out everything in sight because of her day. Bowser walked in, and she kicked the shit out of him, and tossed him off the balcony. He fell and fell.  
  
"One time, I was falling, and I fell." He said, dazed. He passed out. Peach got back in the bed, and another moo-cow fell on her.  
  
  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Toad's Bad Day

Toad'z Bad Day  
  
Dizclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANY OF THE NINTENDO CHARACTERS! THEY ARE PROPERTY OF (duh!) NINTENDO!!!!!!! Enjoy the second fic of my Bad Dayz series (  
  
Anything in is me!  
  
~*~  
  
(Note from the author: Toad's voice sounds like a normal, high-pitched voice, but not in my story! He sounds like a surfer dude)  
  
One morning, Toad was having an intelligent conversation with another mushroom guy. "Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
"Dude!"  
  
"Sweet!"  
  
ENOUGH ALREADY! DAMN!  
  
"Dude! I gotta go to the store!"  
  
"Sweet! Pick up a watermelon while you're there!"  
  
note how the story's already comin together  
  
Anyways, Toad went to the grocery store. Big deal. Out of nowhere, a rabid chicken fell on him and started pecking the CRAP outta him! "Dude! I'm bein pecked by a rabid chicken! It's peckin the crap outta me!"  
  
I just said that  
  
"Yeah, so?"  
  
never mind  
  
Toad was walkin down the produce aisle, and saw the biggest watermelon he'd ever seen!  
  
seeing a pattern yet?  
  
Unfortunately some blonde bitch also saw it. "Hey blonde bitch! That watermelon's mine!" She didn't seem to hear, but she did turn and look at him looking at her. if you can't see a pattern yet, you're just sad Anyways, it was a race to the watermelon. Their carts collided, and they started arguing about it. "No way dude, I saw it first!"  
  
"Hey! I'M the princess here!"  
  
"Nuh uh dude! It's mine!"  
  
"Don't make me step on your shorty ass!"  
  
"What bitch?!" And they started fighting. Toad jumped up and started punching….er….whatever he does with those stubs for arms…….and kicking the familiar-looking blonde woman wonder where he learned to float like that She pushed him off of her face and stepped on him, as promised. Then she started jumping up and down it must have hurt, you can hear the loud THUD with each landing and landing on his back. Toad rolled out of the way and started pummeling her with broccoli. She retaliated with a cherry (bomb) barrage. The cherries exploded and he was blown back and landed into a wall. Another rabid chicken fell on him. Toad was dazed for a while, and he started walking into the wall a few times before he regained his senses, and was pecked by another rabid chicken. At this point, he was getting very irritated (not only by the chickens, but he was starting to break out in hives…..). The blonde woman was chasing after someone, and Toad noticed the watermelon was gone. "Oh well, I like seedless better anyway." He walked on and left the store. With every couple of steps, another rabid chicken would attack him. Then he put on his "anti-rabid chicken" helmet. A flock of rabid chickens equipped with "anti anti-rabid chicken helmet" beaks. So he walked, and walked, and walked, and wal.."Dude! Not again!" FINE! JUST FOR THAT, YOU DON'T GET A FINISHED STORY!!!!!!!  
  
THE END!!!!! 


	3. Mario's Bad Day

Dizclaimer: First off, if you have a problem wit my spelling, TOO BAD! Second off, I don't own any of the characters listed here. Third off, anything in is me. And finally, enjoy!  
  
Mario's Bad Day  
  
~*~  
  
  
  
Mario just got through a vigorous tennis training lesson, preparing for his new upcoming tennis tournament. Out of nowhere, a turquoise pickled zebra attacked! It bit him a few times and he smelled like pickles. "AYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!"  
  
ain't you a lil late for the scream?  
  
"Its-a not my fault-a!"  
  
um, yes it is  
  
"No its-a not-a!"  
  
YES IT IS! YOU WERE ATTACKED! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SCREAM WHILE YOU'RE BEING ATTACKED!  
  
"Fine-a!"  
  
Stupid Italian…….um……..ANYWAYS! Mario had to go to the bathroom for some unknown reason. "AAAAAAAAAAH! I HAVE-A TO GO TO THE-A BATH-AROOM!"  
  
I JUST SAID THAT!  
  
"SO DID I! I CAN'T-A FIND A BATH-A ROO….um……never-a mind-a"  
  
EEW!  
  
"SHUT-A UP-A!"  
  
Mario had wet his pants. "NO-A I DIDN'T!"  
  
YOU DID IN MY STORY!  
  
"Grrrrr….."  
  
Mario went home and changed his pants. He walked into a Toys R Us. "HEY-A! I NEVER SIGNED ANY CONTRACTS-A TO LET-A THEM SELL-A MY GAMES!"  
  
YOU DON'T HAVE A SAY IN THIS! NOW LET ME FINISH THE DAMNED STORY!  
  
"Fine-a!"  
  
Mario screamed when he saw the thing in front of him.  
  
  
  
"…"  
  
….?  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
….  
  
  
  
MARIO! SCREAM DAMMIT!  
  
"NO-A! NOT UNTIL-A YOU SAY-A YOU'RE SORRY!"  
  
FINE! YOU'RE NOT GONNA HAVE ANY LINES IN THIS!  
  
Mario walked up to it, and it fell and crushed him. Another turquoise pickled zebra attacked him. Mario woke up in the E.R. with some doctor guy about to smash his face in with a sledgehammer. Mario rolled out of the way, and started shooting needles at the doctor. The doctor started to shoot medicine….pill……..things at Mario. Mario swallowed one and turned into Dr. Mario! But then he blew up. Mario reappeared in a dance studio in a tutu, and then he blew up again. He reappeared and was trampled by a turquoise pickled zebra stampede. He blew up again. He reappeared in a grocery store (notice anything familiar?) and was pelted in the face by broccoli. He was blinded when one got jammed in the eye, and fell backwards and started walking backwards. He was hit by a cart. The cart ran him over and he had tire tracks on his back. All he could see with his unblind eye was a yellow flash. "STUPID-A BITCH-A!"  
  
AH-HA! I KNEW YOU COULDN'T LAST THAT LONG WITHOUT SAYIN SOMETHIN!  
  
"DAMMIT-A!"  
  
The cart hit him again, this time leaving tire tracks on the front side of his body. And then another turquoise pickled zebra trampled him. Mario fell through a trap door, and landed on a flight of stairs and started rolling down them. The stairs were endless. He endlessly rolled down the endless stairs. Mario finally reached the bottom of the endless stai…"What-a? That- a doesn't make-a sense"  
  
It's my story, deal with it  
  
He landed on a corpse. "OH-A MY GOD! ITS-A BRITNEY SPEARS-A! SOMEBODY-A CALL-A NINE-A ONE-A ONE-A!" Mario passed out from the sight of his pop idol dead. All he saw was the shape of a giant turnip in her throat. Then he woke up in the hospital E.R. room again, and started another war with the doctor guy. The doctor said something, and Mario said something, and the doctor guy said something to Mario's comment, and the doc…..wait, I mean Mari….I mean do……..DAMN! Confused yet? I know I am. Mario blew up.  
  
  
  
THE END!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Daisy's Bad Day

Dizclaimer: I DON'T OWN DAISY! I DON'T OWN ANY NINTENDO CHARACTERS! So leave me alone! And enjoy! (  
  
Daisy's Bad Day  
  
~*~  
  
One day, Daisy had just gotten out of a near death battle against Bowser (long story). Then, a blinding light blinded Daisy, because it was so blindingly…..blinding. (Dontcha love the use of words?) Anyways, she fell onto a skunky dog thing that attacked her with a flounder. "AAAAAH! I'VE BEEN FLOUNDERED!" Daisy screamed. At that moment, she realized she had to go to the grocery store to pick up some watermelon (don't ask, but you should see somethin here….). She walked to the store and grabbed a cart and ran like hell! She ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran…..and you get the idea. (this MUST be a big store cuz it shouldunt take that long to find the produce aisle! Somewhere along the way, she encountered a huge bump, but that didn't stop her. She saw a huge watermelon! She grabbed it as soon as she could and ran like hell again. At this time, she was being pursued by Peach, who apparently also wanted the watermelon. Peach disappeared somewhere and Daisy thought she was in the clear. She hit another bump. But as luck would have it, Peach fell right in Daisy's cart and Daisy couldn't see over the big hair, and she crashed into a wall. Peach smashed the watermelon over Daisy's head, knocking her unconscious. Daisy awoke in a department store….dunno why……anyways, she woke up and was almost trampled by someone in a pink dress (it ain't Peach, she was elsewhere). Then, a skunky dog thing with a flounder smacked her. "DAMMIT! AGAIN!" But she went around and shopped like the wind! She was tripped by the person in pink because they were after the same dress. "STUPID BITCH!" Daisy screamed at her. The woman quickly engaged battle and started attacking her with hangers. Daisy attacked her back with dresses filled with rocks (wonder where she got the rocks……) and hit her a few times. Then, they grabbed swords that appeared outta nowhere and started this huge sword fight, slashing at each other's dresses. The blonde woman in the pink dress swung at Daisy and chopped a HUGE lock of hair off of her. "ALRIGHT YOU EVIL WHORE! DIIIIIIIIE!" (WOW! THIS IS COOL!) Daisy attacked with one final swing, and completely missed and couldn't stop running and she smashed into a wall. When she fell backwards, she fell down and back onto another skunky dog thing with a flounder, and it smacked her again. Daisy laughed hysterically and then started to cry because now she reeked of fishy stench. And then her dress completely disappeared leaving her in only a bikini and a bunch of guys came running towards her. She went all kung fu style on them and they were all lying on the ground in pain. Another skunky dog thing whistled and then "floundered" her and she stepped on it. She got home and she fell out a window. Ain't it nice to know we have smart princesses out there?  
  
  
  
The End!!!!!!! 


End file.
